- You remember things you never even knew happened.
Although I’ll be 22 this summer, there are memories that flood my mind going back to the age of 5. It’s funny how scents, sounds, and stories will unveil memories that you never remembered before. I have memories of my dad that, until he passed away, I could have never remembered even if you asked. These are good things. Cherish the memories and pray that time will unveil even more.
2.You regret every time you ever acted up as a child.
I was never a super bad kid and I did not often act up, but every time that I ever got mad at my dad I regret. We all clash with our parents and as teens, we tend to disregard 90% of what our parents tell us, but looking back, I would take back every moment. Every time he got onto me, every time I sassed him, I would now take back. I advise my friends and those around me to cherish their parents and every second they get with them.
3. You feel as if you’ve lost your childhood.
I have struggled recently with feeling as if my childhood is gone. Feeling like every ounce of being a child was taken away from me. Although, this is not true, and I will always be my parents’ child, it is hard to feel the innocence in the world against such tragedy.
4. You will hope that denial never goes away.
If I remember correctly, the saying goes “innocence is bliss”, or as I like to say “denial is bliss”. Not in the weak, depressed woman kind of way, but that facing the truest and darkest feelings you could imagine are not always what your daily life calls for. With that, denial is our friend. Sometimes I hope that nothing feels real until I make my way to heaven myself because the fullest amount of pain I know exists, is not something anyone wants to feel every day.
5. You will miss them, every single day.
It has been over a year since my dad’s passing and I cannot think of a minute that went by where I haven’t missed him. Someone once told me the best advice that I still pass on… “time does not heal your pain, you simply learn how to live with the pain”. Even on your happiest days, not always in sad ways, you will miss them, more than you can imagine.
xoxo, gina marie